Fink Brau: The great cleanser


Like Homer Simpson in that certain episode, I also from time to time need to undertake the task of “a little spring cleaning”, albeit involuntary and hugely self-inflicted. Through great expense to myself; financially, mentally and physically, I have found the perfect diarrhoea beer. It retails in a Lidl store near you and comes in small unassuming bottles, costing a little over €10 for 24. It’s “Fink Brau”, the alcoholic alternative to Senokot.

I found some months ago that consumption of over half the case of beer (and I use that term loosly) causes involuntary muscle spasms of the arse. Over half is brave (read: stupid) and the whole case in one night is Rymus. Needless to say I hovered around the pot like a homesick dungbeetle for several days after that fateful Saturday night. It tastes rather like a crude mixture of Budweiser and horse piss, although many speculate that Budweiser is indeed chiefly comprised of that very substance anyway. That leads me to wonder if what we know as Budweiser is actually Fink Brau re-packaged? The conspiracy theories are ongoing. My respect for the French plummets ever lower on drinking every bottle. I can hear chants of “what do you expect from Lidl beer?” but to those that chant I answer “what about that stuff that comes in the longneck brown bottles?” That’s the sauce of choice for many’s the poor student and cheap date. Bring back the Bergadler pils! I hate this frinking Brau crap.

Mice on Atkins Diet


We already know that following the Atkins diet can cause medical problems, such as diabetes. It has emerged today that a further threat of pregnancy problems could be tacked onto the world famous diet.

High protein intake and lower carbohydrates, scientists have concluded that large amounts of protein can have an effect on fertility in mice and possibly humans also.

The Colorado Centre for Reproductive Medicine have noted that vain mice taking the diet experienced disruption in embryo development. Dr. Gardner, from the CCRM said;

“Although our investigations were conducted in mice, our data may have implications for diet and reproduction in humans,”

So, can the Atkins diet really make it harder to get pregnant? Surely it would be the final blow for the health regieme if it is proved so.

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