Rymus {dot} Net

So as it came to pass, it’s time to buy a house.

22nd May 2007
So, offer accepted after a slight bump up to the pre-election stamp duty threshold. Happy with that. Means the election essentially doesn’t mean a damn thing anymore. I do hope Mr. Tayto steals a seat in his constituency though. The auctioneer spoke ‘at’ me for a bit, telling me exactly what to do next. Booking deposit? Solicitor? I really should have watched that EBS DVD. Dang. “Yup”, “Grand” and other such non-chalant expressions gushed forth over the telephone as I watched about 40 terms and steps in the process sail blissfully over my rapidly greying hairline. Then it hit me. ‘Our’ family solicitor is either retired or dead. I don’t know any solicitors. They aren’t exactly in my social circle. The closest thing I’ve got to hanging out with a legal professional is having a few pints with a defendant in the local. I’m boned.

Or not. Rang around (I say rang around, I actually rang one) and it seemed good to me so I’ll stick with her. I have the inkling feeling I may not be called on by the financial regulator anytime soon to review and rate the conveyancing services of any local solicitors.

23rd May 2007
The meeting with the mortgage advisor was interesting. A large figure, very retired gardaesque, calculating all the in’s, out’s and monetary figures of our day to day lives for the past few years. Friendly, but when my hand started to cramp from signing all the various documents I couldn’t help but feel that I was well, signing my life away. At least for the next 35 years.

Medically speaking we’re both sound, but I don’t think the life insurance crowd believe me on that. It’s another case of English opression. I get referred to some quack that’ll poke, prod and extract €60 or so from me just to tell me I’m (more or less) healthy. All that just because I was born outside the 32 counties. Oh 800 years and whatnot. The injustice continues. Could stand to lose a few pounds, but I guess everyone could.

Yesterday morning I got a sizable cheque in the form of inheritance. Less than 10 hours later it was gone. Less than 24 hours later my (admittedly modest) savings were cleared out. I think I just felt another hair go grey.

29th May 2007
Today was medical day. I’d been fearing it, partly due to reading the leaflet that came with the notice and partly because I hadn’t been to a doctor in a hell of a long time. In fact, I don’t actually know if my GP is still practicing!?! As it turns out, what the leaflet outlined was a broad spectrum of poking, prodding and squeezing; Very little of which I had to endure. A fairly quick checkup, followed by about 45 minutes spent drinking cups of water in the waiting room (yes, it is what you think), followed by another fairly quick chat and a couple more tests. Never let anyone tell you that urinating on command is an easy task. Visualising waterfalls with the sound of running taps in your ears does not help as much as I had imagined. Similarly, never let anyone tell you that urinating into a small plastic tube is anyway easy. When they’re finished not telling you all that, also never let them tell you that holding a small plastic tube of that same hard to come by liquid is a comfortable feeling. Sure it’s warm and all that, but it’s not a good kind of warm. Have I finished discussing the gory details of providing a specimen yet? Yes, thankfully for you I have. After reading a bit about blood pressure on Wikipedia, I thought mine seemed a little high but I guess it’s nothing to worry about given that the doctor gave me a clean bill of health, at least for the purposes of getting life insurance. So I guess I’m going to be around for a few years yet. I suppose I’ll have to have a think about a few more blog topics then…

Otherwise it seems things are coming together nicely. A simple valuation has been done on the house and I finally managed to find a surveyor that actually seemed to be bothered about both talking to me on the phone and actually doing the job. Perhaps a little insight. Over the last week or so I’ve called several surveyors looking for quotes and general information. The kind of information that first time buyers like to know about. Stuff like how much, what’ll be checked, how it’s checked and what kind of detail there is in the written report we’ll be shelling out our hard earned cash for. The first one I rang, recommended by our solicitor, didn’t seem to want to talk and ended the conversation quickly after barking a price down the line. The second, third and fourth rattled off figures without being anyway inclined to give information on the report they provide. Subsequent attempts at finding a human being ended with much the same results. In desperation, I started asking around to see if anyone had a recommendation. Nobody had. Only two people I know have bought a property and neither of them used a surveyor. Different circumstances though.

So after further enquiry, I finally called another recommended surveyor today and the experience was shocking. He was pleasant and gave outstanding detail compared to the others. I almost became overwhelmed with the surprise of it all when I looked over and the call timer on the phone read 15 minutes. He went through all the detail (in perfect clarity and absolute honesty) of what he’d be doing, what’s checked and what’s not and oddly enough, his working relationship with several auctioneers. Best of all, he charges half of what the rest do. Either that or it’s down to name dropping. Either way I don’t care as long as it keeps a few more quid in the back pocket.

2nd June
Things seem to have stalled, waiting for just one single form to get filled in. A few digits and one signature on a piece of paper has held us up now for about 4/5 days. It’s almost maddening. I’d be blowing a gasket on both our behalf if we didn’t seem to have everything else sorted out, but the truth is we’re still being held up at the first hurdle. It’s a bit of a silly situation to be in.

20th June
The one single form got filled in, everything moved along swimmingly for a few days and then seemed to slow down to a crawl again waiting for contracts to be issued. The good news is that contracts have now been signed, engineers have given the nod and there’s only about three weeks to go (hopefully) until keys are handed over.

23rd July
Whomp! We’ve now been in the house for about two and a bit weeks, there are boxes everywhere but thankfully I’m back online due to slightly later than expected call from the Nova Networks installers. Stuck firmly to my guns and now have a wonderful no phone line broadband connection setup. Had to have the 1 mbit upload for adding photos to flickr of course!

It’s all come together quite well. There were a few minor… lets say ‘miscalculations’ toward the end, a lovely refund and then the handover of the keys. Enjoyed a bottle of Bubble Brothers champagne (leftovers from the 2007 Blog Awards) to celebrate. After renting for so many years it’s odd living in a house that you actually own. If you’ve read all the way down, my sincere apologies and hearty congratulations. I can’t even remember starting this some months ago. Now, anyone want to donate to my ‘buy a lawnmower’ fund?