If you’ve been around here for a while, you may have already read of my eternal woes with passing my driving test. This should mark the last installment in this now 6 part odyssey. If you’re really interested in reading the whole lot, here we go.
Part 1: Driving Test Woes
Part 2: Driving Test Woes 2
Part 3: Driving Test Woes 3
Part 4: On re-applying & licking the cats ass of defeat
Part 5: Fecking driving test!
Enough of that malarky, so what makes this such a heartwarming conclusion?
While in my lovely, local (in its last days) pub last night, I met and struck up a conversation with my past driving instructor, whom had already been extensively sampling the local merchandise. How and ever, the news that came forth was so inexplicably tremendous that I almost soiled myself (four times). As he fought through the tear inducing laughter, he recounted the story, leaving no juicy detail behind.
Cast your mind back to my own driving test and indeed to my own driving tester. The large, ignorant and generally hugely abrasive gentleman that failed me once and tested me twice. Yes, if you’ll remember after being screwed over once and requesting a different tester I got the same guy again. Equally as abrasive, hell no, he was just an asshole plain and simple. I passed though and all was good. Never again would I have to look at his sneery, scrunched up little ratbag face again. Others did though and my thoughts and best wishes are with them.
One of those others excelled himself. This is his story. After doing his test they returned to the test center. They sat, he gulped nervously and awaited his fate. Across the table, an oaf was deciding his fate. As it transpired, there was alot of fate being decided upon that fateful day. A piece of paper slid across the table. It came to a stop and a set of fat fingers released it and returned to a folded pose. The candidate picked up the paper, examined it and peered over the top of it to where the tester was poised to make a smart comment. If there’s one thing about this guy, he’s always got a smart comment ready. Be the result fail or pass, there’s always a comment there ready to deride and debase the candidate.
This time it was a fail. Yet another fail under the belt for this less than average employee. However, across the table sat an above average candidate. But of course, the tester didn’t know that… Yet. Smart comment delivered, the air becomes stagnant. Candidate puts paper down, gets up, reaches across table and knocks tester out cold. I shit you not. A swift knuckle sandwich to the kisser was delivered with great accuracy. One court case and 6 months of recovery later, the tester is back to work. Far be it from me to promote violence but this was perhaps the most deserved case of whoop ass in the world. Laugh? I nearly snorted a whole pint of Murphys…
Now, if that person wishes to comment here, I’ll gladly buy you a pint. I’ll gladly buy you ten pints. Later on in the pub (as it’s for sale and possibly closing forever), all of us recalled our favorite moments shared under the roof of Cogans in Carrigaline. I have to say, this was mine.
Comeuppance is a bitch. Thank you and goodnight.
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