Archive for June, 2005

Photo Challenge 2 winners


All listed on boards . A re-think of the voting system is in order, my head hurts from calculating the whole thing. Thankfully I can now kill the injured brain cells with some well needed alkeyhol

Who’d have thought they were telling the truth?


Remember when you started school? What was the first thing every single teacher there told you until they were blue in the face from saying it and you had bypassed blue and gone straight to purple from hearing? “Do your homework”? “Respect yourself and others”? They all rank highly in the list but the first and foremost thing that was drilled into me & my peers was something along the lines of

Enjoy your time at school, it’ll be the best days of your life.

Everyone chuckled to themselves, some out loud in the direction of the person that uttered the immortal phrase. To a 13 year old, school is a demon that should be avoided, not slayed. It is a daily chore of mindless nonsense that must be repeated ad nauseam in order to regurgitate it back onto paper in the exam hall. Learn this, do this, don’t do that, don’t punch that, kick that. Rinse and repeat until you’re 18 years old.

Something tells me that the teachers were onto something. A 3 month long holiday disturbed only by a few weeks in the classroom and the odd test. Oh to be a full-time student. Take away the habitual bully encounters and other unpleasant artifacts and you have yourself the making of a pretty decent time to be alive. Romanticising it a bit perhaps, no doubt things will have changed even since I left school in the late 90’s. It’s only when I’m sitting in traffic, coming or going to work or home and seeing teenagers lolling around relaxing in the sunshine that I realise the teachers really do know their stuff. I’d rather have an amount of homework to do and to wear a uniform if it meant I could return to the subtle pleasures of being in school.

It might be boring now and you may get your ass kicked every day but try to enjoy it. If it helps, think ahead 15 years to when you have a decent job and take your own kids into a fast food restaurant to be served by whoever was kicking your ass. Karma or just more romanticism? I’d have no doubt that a few of the hard men I was in school with are either drug addicts, in jail or at least have criminal records by now. Yes indeed the nerd comes good and starts dumping on all the wankers. Not my intention, I shit you not.

If I could go back I gladly would. I’d return to transition year, no doubt the best (if not biggest waste of) time I’ve spent in school. Then in 5th and 6th year I’d study until it made me physically sick and come out with a bazillion points. Go go college, get a masters and be one of the underskilled overpaid masses of graduates out there.

Actually, scratch that. To any teenage readers I may have I’ll simply say enjoy the hell out of your years at school. Enjoy not paying bills, living at home and not having to work just to pay the government for stuff they’ve never done for you.

Oh, and don’t get any credit cards.

Cork on Google Earth


Cork from 13,879ft courtesy of Google Earth. I was somewhat pleased to see it is freeware (typical of Google now I suppose) and it works along the same lines/on the same engine as Keyhole Pro; another piece of satellite imaging software I tried out recently. As you’d expect, the resolution is quite good. I can zoom down to between 700 and 1000ft without any huge loss of image quality. Just the tool for at long last seeing what your neighbour has been building in his back garden for all these years.

A feature which will no doubt be the eye-candy for this creation is the 3D buildings option. Although only available in select major US cities at present, it’s a nice touch that works well with the tilt option. As with much of the mapping/navigation software out there, you can opt to display roads, borders, available accomodation and a whole host of other features. I found that when I installed Google Earth it retained the saved locations I had in Keyhole Pro. Handy then that I don’t have to search the earth yet again to find my own house.

The images seem fairly recent, my newly built house appears almost finished from what I can see. The coverage has increased somewhat over the last day or so. Well, it was either the lack of coverage or the fault of my own stupidity that all of Ireland looked like a puddle of bright green snot no matter what the zoom was set to. Today I find I can get crystal clear images of any one of a dozen worldwide cities I pointed the cursor at. Venture outside the major cities and you’ll probably find yourself lost in brightly coloured nonsense. The citizens of Waterford might have something to say about that one.

Overall a nice plaything. Something to mess around with and get those alternative holiday snaps!

truefresco referrer script


What is with the stalling? You will have noticed that the white background won’t actually load until the TF script has finished doing it’s thing, whatever the hell that is…

Anyone have any intelligent guesses as to what can be done? (and no, “server load” isn’t an intelligent guess, I already came up with that one myself).

Tippu Sultan


The Pakistani warship “Tippu Sultan” docked in Cork city last week. A few more photos of it can be found on flickr.

In the Navy


Took a walk down the docks today with Donncha & AJ for the opportunity to photograph some foreign navy ships. Pictures are currently available for Köln (German), João Belo (Portugese) and a mixed bag of Dutch.

Skateboarding in Cork


Some more pics, this time a set of skateboarding pictures taken on Emmet Place earlier today.

Cruelest irony strikes again


I’ve always been an outspoken advocate of pointing out the foibles in other peoples driving. When someone does something blatantly stupid or life threatening to themselves and the drivers around them I’m first off the mark to criticise. That alone is what makes the following so ironic…

Whilst driving from Oranmore to Claregalway, Co. Galway yesterday morning I noticed a garda car behind me. Nothing unusual about that. For anyone that knows that stretch of road, you’ll know it’s home to some straight stretches and some gentle curves. An old woman in front of me was driving at around 45/50mph and so I chose to overtake her, losing sight of the garda car behind me. Up ahead there was a ford transit signaling and turning left. He had pulled into the hard shoulder and I indicated to pass him, my right tyres crossing the broken white line in the centre of the road by no more than a foot. A woman driving an old red ford mondeo coming toward me, yet more than a hundred yards away, must have decided that this was all too uncomfortable for her.

She pulled into the hard shoulder on her side and began flashing her lights. It all looked a bit like that scene in Austin Powers where the security guard is about to get run over by the slow moving steam roller. Bringing my powers of depth perception into play (which she obviously lacked) there was room for at least 2 articulated trucks between us. No point in debating it, as soon as the silly wagon started flashing I knew the cop would be up my ass like a chilli flavoured enema.

And so he was. Now here’s the real comedy.

Cop: (standard response) Are you in a hurry somewhere?
Me: I am actually yeah.
Cop: Hmmm, license please.
Me: (hands him my provisional license,hopes he doesn’t notice my lack of L plates or being accompanied by fully licensed driver)
Cop: Ahh (grunt of satisfaction) a provisional license too!

Cop goes back to car to see if I’m an escaped convict or likely to be transporting black tar heroine to Co. Mayo.

Cop: (while writing ticket and in smug tones) A city boy eh? Too used to all that city driving you are!
Me: Trying to hold back the flood of laughter at the ‘city boy’ comment.
Cop: (hands back my license) Aren’t you a very lucky boyeen not to be getting points?
Me: Err yeah thanks.
Cop: (hands ticket) Now I have to do this because there’s been so many accidents. There, a nice ticket for the princely sum of 25 euros.
Me: Right so

What I wanted to say: Every time a fella overtakes a nun, an angel gets it’s wings. If you want to ticket someone, try grabbing that bitch in the red mondeo and asking her to actually READ the ticket. Guaranteed she’s so short sighted she wouldn’t even realise theres a ticket in front of her. Shouldn’t you be off catching people that are actually making the roads more dangerous? Or down at the station eating doughnuts? I could give you a series of absolutely manic driving I’ve witnessed over the course of the last 3 fucking hours but would you be interested? Go on ya revenue generating wildman!

Cop: You’re lucky you’re not getting points. Good luck now (walks away)
Me: *muffled expletives*

Now I’ll just sit and wait for a notification of penalty points to drop through my letterbox. Yes, although he said I wouldn’t be getting any I’d be quite amazed if I didn’t get at least one. That’s how truly magnificently organised the whole thing is. If and when I do see that letter, I’ll fold it up, turn it sideways, shine it up real good and ram it up his candy ass. (or something like that)

[rant over]

The world just got stranger


Cory Williamson, a 17 year old from Campobello has been accused of raping a neighbour’s dog and another neighbours two little girls. In true “we just can’t report anything properly” style, the Fox Carolina story states that

Now the dog has died and charges against the teen have been upgraded.

And also

Neighbor Bill Johnson says, “As a community we shouldn’t have to watch our kids every second they’re playing. We want him out of this neighborhood.”

That sounds pretty sensible. Get him out of the neighbourhood before someone or some group of likeminded citizens strings him up from the nearest tree. The old saying is true, there ain’t no justice like angry mob justice!

Kev trades Bev in for newer model


“Kev?”, “Bev?”. “Kev!”, “Bev!”. The long running AA car loan commercial we’ve all seen featuring Kev and Bev played by Mark Burdis and Olivia Coleman. Well all is not well in AA town. I was distraught to see that my beloved Bev has been usurped and replaced by a woman I could never see being likely to be granted a car loan. Especially for a Volvo!

Above, the original Bev with Kev

Am I to presume that original Bev has been tied up and is being stored in Kev’s basement? Is she concealed in the no doubt ample trunk of the old red Volvo? I fear greatly for her safety and am concerned that new Bev’s recent appearance may be a permanant fixture. Yahoo! news reports that Olivia Coleman is currently seeking other roles. Farewell Olivia, you’ll always be Bev to me…

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