What the hell is it these days with being a half-assed parent? Maybe half-assed is too generous a term for some of the people around the place who like to refer to themselves proudly as “mum” or “dad”. Quarter-assed would be a step up for some of these people. If you take a look at what’s going on in what I can only presume is every developed country in the world and compare it against some pretty damning research that has been done on the subject, it’d even make a parent who only uses one tenth of their ass stand up and pay attention.

Less of the rambling, more of the sense. I am of course referring to the use of mobile phones by young children. What was it the research said? Under 15 years of age and your’e asking for trouble? Something along those lines. I have to question the sanity of parents and the morals of mobile phone shop owners that are basically paying money so the kids in question have a little lottery chance of developing a brain tumor.

This latest in a series of mindless rants has been lurking at the back of my brain for quite some time but was only re-animated this afternoon while I was sitting in Roches Stores cafe trying to enjoy a cup of coffee while watching a boy of no more than 10 years of age unwrapping his brand new Nokia mobile phone. “Within 30 years” I thought to myself, “this kid is going to be fucked”. That is of course if the research actually bares fruit. Take the urban ledgend (if it actually is that) of the autopsy of Veronica Guerin some years ago. A reporter and so obviously a heavy mobile phone user, when her brain was examined there were allegedly a ring of tumors around where her ear was. If that is true and if it’s not all scaremongering on the part of the anti-phone crowd it’s something we should all be concerned about. None more so than parents though. Would you really risk it? Just so your 11-year-old kid won’t be coming home every day saying “but evvvvvvveryone in school has picture phones, why can’t I get one?” Children don’t understand what potentially deadly medical conditions are. Suffice to say, giving a mobile phone to a child is like offering them a set of pissed off scorpions to play with. Before you go rushing out to the scorpion shop, stop and have a little think.

The sale of mobile phones should be banned for people under the age of 16. What does anyone younger than that need a bloody mobile phone for anyway? Anyone they need to talk to will see them tomorrow in school, and if it’s the weekend they’ll simply have to walk to their friends house. I’m not trying to be a fuddy duddy, it’s simply how things are. If any child of mine ever comes home with any shape or form of mobile phone before I give exclusive written permission, I’ll wage war on the phone shops. I can almost see the headlines on the papers now…

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