After almost 80 years of campaigning to ban hunting with dogs, a ban has finally been put into effect as of 12 o’clock last night. Stiff lipped toffs have vowed to fight on to keep their gruesome hobby but it looks like it’s curtains for them and their horns. Even if it stops gobshites like the following for a week it’ll be a week of pure bliss for wildlife everywhere.

Graeme Worsley, 37 – joint master of the 250-year-old Old Surrey Burstow and West Kent Hunt – said: “We’re angry and upset. I had a knot in my throat, but it’s not the end. We killed four foxes today, a lot of fun.”

In a predictable turn of events, relieved foxes everywhere are finally returning to their normal lives and in fact have begun plotting hugely ironic revenge on the toffee-nosed gits that for 300 years brutally murdered their kind..

“Hey ma look… a cute little fox with a rabid badger on a lead.”

Rock on Foxy! Full story in The Mirror of all places